The Prince and the Crocodile
by SadEcho
Summary: My twisted take on the Princess and the Frog...Only with Doflamingo and Crocodile. Involves Crocodile transforming causing hilarity to ensue. Don't like this pairing? Well you should try it. If nothing else it should make you laugh a little :) Was written just to make you giggle. Rated M for language for now :O.


**Authors Note:**

**This is a story I have had lying around for months. In reality it is almost as old as my first fiction. I just never got around to publishing it from fear of rejection xD. Well oh well not everyone likes Crocodile and Doflamingo, but you should read anyway because it's a pretty damned funny story.**

**The Prince and the Crocodile**

~ ====(==== : ~

Sir Crocodile was sitting at his desk, the wooden surface heaped with piles of documents and other formal looking paper. He was surprised that the phrase 'buried alive in paperwork' could actually take a turn for the literal. The papers towered over his head by a couple of feet judging by eye alone. But much to his growing annoyance there was even more of the damned stacks piled around his desk in a paper version of the Great Wall of China. There was just no more room to safely place them less he died of a sudden paper collapse of a cave-in.

Claustrophobia, was that what he was feeling right now? The warlord certainly felt walled in despite the enormous aquarium the surrounded his underwater office. One of his banana gators loomed in the bright aqua waters to rest just outside the glass before Crocodile. His golden yellow eyes met with the large banana gators before he resigned himself to continuing with his work. Even though they were mostly daft creatures the pets were able to sense when their master's mood was dissenting.

After Sir Crocodile had been so 'urgently' called to the governments meeting, his paperwork of course had quite literally piled up in his absence. He absolutely hated those meetings. Not only was it just as agonizingly pointless waste of time, as the last one had been, but this time that annoying Doflamingo prick had been staring at him with that trademark glued-on appalling smile that never left the man's face. If that giant flamingo didn't give him the creeps - or tower over him by nearly two feet- and they weren't in the middle of a warlords meeting, he wouldn't have hesitated to turn him into a desiccated mummy! Well, if they ever did clash the victor would not be so easily determined. They both were evidently strong in their own rights and he was sure that whoever survived their exchange would be mortally wounded if not horribly scarred.

No, Crocodile then conceded to himself that he could not be terribly certain that it was those bird brains maddening eyes that had been burning holes into him when they were covered by ridiculously flamboyant sunglasses. It was not just the sunglasses that were flamboyant but the whole gigantic mass that was the pink feathered asshole. But then again he was pretty damned sure he had felt those creepers eyes on him even if he didn't have any proof. What did that moronic bird want? His grinning face had seemed even more stupid than the last time Crocodile had seen the man at a warlords summoning.

Dark ink flowed from his pen as he irritably scratched it across his documents, its fine point rasped across the papers. He had been sitting at the desk for hours; filling out forms and signing off on various things and had gone through multitudes of his favorite kind of pen. A knock sounding from his doors made the warlord pause and look up.

"Mr. Crocodile, there is a letter here that just arrived for you," said a familiar voice from behind the doors.

Crocodile sighed. How was he supposed to get any work done with all of these interruptions?

"Who does it say it is from, Miss All Sunday?"

"It doesn't say, just your name is printed on the front of the envelope. No address or anything else is on it. To be honest I am surprised it managed to reach you sir."

Crocodile set his pen down and rubbed at the golden hook attached to his arm in thought. How had a mystery letter managed to find its way to him in the heart of the desert country that was Alabasta. It was just a letter so it shouldn't hurt to investigate it for a moment. If nothing else it would be a temporary reprieve from the endless amount paperwork.

"You may enter. I will take a look at this '_letter_'." Somehow he doubted this new enigma had been sent to him with pure intentions.

The large wooden doors parted to emit a tall dark haired woman. Nico Robin, also known as Miss All Sunday in Baroque Works, stopped before of his desk and placed a pink envelope with his name elegantly written in a calligraphy-like script across the front along with an equally elegant image of a crocodile that ended after the 'e' in his name, transforming into the inked beasts tail.

"Thank you Miss Robin." He waved a hand to dismiss her and she bowed her head before she turned and reclined in a nearby chair. One dark purple eyebrow raised on the warlord's forehead questioningly. Usually the woman would leave right away.

Robin smiled at him sweetly. "Oh I just want to know who your secret admirer is", she teased gently.

Crocodile growled and his topaz colored eyes glared at her dangerously, the pupils turning into predatory slits. He was not mad at her for staying, but he would not tolerate the notion that it was a love letter. "Miss Nico Robin, I am far past the juvenile age of when one receives letters of endearment."

"Well Mr. Crocodile, pink envelopes are customarily used in letters with such sentiments in mind. So I was only playfully assuming it was a love letter. Why don't you open it and we will see if I'm wrong?" Again she smiled with her steel blue eyes were filled with mischief. As Robin watched Crocodiles scarred face frown and then look down at the letter in his hands, she leisurely crossed her legs while cupping the side of her face with a hand and leaned forward on her elbow.

Skillfully the warlord used his golden hook mounted on his left arm to rip the top of the envelope off. He pulled out the lavender scented paper with his teeth, scrunching his nose in distaste before spitting the letter onto his desk. With his right hand he smoothed the folded papyrus out till it lay mostly flat against the polished wooden surface. Being one-handed might have fazed an ordinary man, but certainly not Sir Crocodile.

His golden orbs scanned the script, the handwriting the same as it was on the front of the envelope, and his lips were drawn in a flat line as he scowled at the letters contents.

"_Not all of us Alabastians are so utterly blinded by your so called heroism. We are not ignorant of the source our countries droughts. We know you are the cause, Mr. Crocodile. While we are against stooping to your level of violence and underhanded schemes, we have found a less bloody way to find great joy at your expense. So we curse you with the ancient knowledge and magic of our ancestors._

_Woe ye savage villain. Hark and take head. _

_Ye shall take the form equal to thy tyranny and greed._

_Cruel we are not, so a way out there is indeed._

_With loves first kiss your form shall return un-amiss._

_But not before a lesson is learnt from this._

_If ye shall succeed, thou will be more human than ye have ever been._

_Feel our curse, ye monster among fellow men."_

Crocodile only had a moment to briefly wonder at the letters contents. What dim witted fools had dared to pull a stunt like this? Who knew it was he who was behind the countries drought?

Steam began to roll off his gray tinted skin in waves. He heard Robin gasp in horror before he lost control of his motor functions and a great deal of his other senses. His flesh burned and trembled on his bones till he was certain he was either melting or his skin had fallen off. Audible groans and clicks sounded from his joints as tendons, sinews, and muscles flexed and stretched. Crocodile felt a deep and thunderous rumble vibrating through his creaking ribs, sending a stabbing jolt of pain through his spinal column as if he had been struck with a bolt of lightning. White took over his vision and a ringing sound filled his ears as the pain continued to assault him senseless.

Robin had been frozen in shock as her boss vanished in a cloud of steam and a white flash. As her eye's refocused she noticed that the chair behind Crocodile's desk that he had been lounging in was now unoccupied and spinning around whimsically. Her cerulean eyes grew round in surprise and she quickly weaved her way around walls of stacked paperwork to search for her seemingly vanished employer.

An angry crocodile hissed at her chuckling countenance. Robin should have been scared shitless or at least concerned being face to face with an eight foot long reptilian predator currently sitting on a pile of her bosses clothing. But the woman was shrewd.

She was able to take in the large golden hook piled on the ground along with the articles of clothing and noted how this olive green beast had a left forearm that ended in a marred stub. Its pointed snout had a stitched up scar that ran horizontally across its muzzle. The jagged scar ran beneath each of the golden iris' that still maintained their human counterparts shape, but were settled in a sea of black so that they resembled molten halo's floating in the night sky, save for the narrowed slits of the pupils. Oddly enough the long black tie Crocodile had been wearing for the warlords meeting was still around the reptile's neck despite the other clothing's flawless removal.

Her boss hissed at her and his large thick tail swished angrily, knocking over his spinning chair in the process. How was he supposed to get any work done now?

Crocodile gave one final heated glare at the woman before he indignantly slithered past her and clambered up on a loveseat with ease that surprised both the warlord and Robin considering his new form. He awkwardly sat on the sofa and adjusted the black tie around his neck with some difficulty. His new arm was short and the claws were an unfamiliar addition that threatened to tear at the fabric.

Robin gathered up the discarded clothing and hook and threw them into an empty seat that was near the irate reptile. She plucked the letter off his desk to read it. Before she could hide her amusement she giggled. Her laughter was rewarded with Crocodile hissing lowly. The jade predator swished his tail menacingly. She noticed the scales near the top of his head were edged in plum that faded to dull lavender as it descended down his neck and ridged back to fade out at the tail tip. Deftly she flicked the scented letter to land among the warlords clothes on the chair.

"Well Mr. Crocodile", Robin paused and chuckled at the irony, as her bosses name and form both applied to the sobriquet, "don't expect to get a kiss from me any time soon." She watched as the reptiles thick tailed slammed against the couch in apparent irritation. "Seeing as how you are currently indisposed at the moment, I will be taking my vacation time now," the woman smiled amiably and added, "I will be back in a week or so. And try not to worry. I will take some paper work along with me sir."

Crocodile would have struck the woman, or at least make his anger vocalized, if he was still human. How dare she leave at such a crucial time? There was still shitloads of work to be done and to make matters worse apparently some voodoo witch had cursed him. Not to mention that he _**never**_ would have stooped to the level of asking a subordinate for help! The woman tilted her hat at him and made her way out of the door. If only he could turn to sand right now, but his powers did not function the same as when he had been human and he found himself unable to grasp at the complex oddity that was his new forms hold on his devil fruit abilities.

The warlord resigned himself to at least attempt to do some paperwork despite his recent transformation. He still needed to get work done. Years of forced businessman like conduct seemed to have etched a place inside the man. He clawed down some of the forms that lay stacked on the ground next to his desk. Realizing he needed his pen, he reared up on his stubby hind legs and batted the instrument onto the floor. Crocodile's clawed hand struggled to grasp at the utensil for a moment; he was still unaccustomed to the more fine motor skills of his new right paw, which was odd since he didn't have a thumb anymore. Briefly he was annoyed his new form didn't come with a new left hand, but then again he wasn't planning on staying this way when he thought about it. He hated how the amputated stub of his left arm was visible without his golden hook in place. No, he would definitely have to see about getting this curse taken care of… after he managed to get some work done. His form had been changed once before thanks to a certain okama queen - or was it a king…? - Either way he wasn't about to let his recent transformation stop him.

Crocodile was starting to get unpleasantly cold being belly down on the floor and had managed to scrawl out a few words when two muffled voices just outside the doorway caught his attention. It was strange for someone other than Nico Robin and himself to be in his underwater space. Suddenly his offices large double doors slammed open followed by a ten foot tall man waltzing through in a peculiar waddle, his long legs bent sharply at the knees and the toes pointed at an impossible outward angle that made the man look like he had been riding a horse for too long- If you could find a horse big enough to carry him… A massive pink feathered coat made the already long legged man seem intimidatingly oversized.

'Shit, why is the damned flamingo here? I just saw him at the meeting not even a few days ago. Why did Robin have to let him- oh of course she wouldn't mind leaving me alone to deal with this bastard.'

Doflamingo swung his blond head from side to side, taking in the underwater office that was hued cerulean with the aquarium that encompassed the darkly lit space. Little shards of light that refracted through the banana gator filled waters swam over the seemingly abandoned room. Where was the little Crocy? His tall dark assistant had been oh so kind as to tell him that his fellow warlord was catching up on paperwork inside of his office. But the office chair was empty, toppled over in some kind of new fashion trend? The dark black-purple haired man was nowhere to be seen. Judging by those mountains of papers the man should be here, unless he _planned_ on being buried alive by work.

If Crocodile still possessed eye brows they would have vaulted above on his brow disdainfully. 'Did that feather brained idiot really not see me? Maybe if I am lucky he will go away.'

Doflamingo scratched at the back of his head and he wandered further into the office space. He noticed a rather large chair nearby and nonchalantly began to perch onto it, intending to wait for the man. Big mistake, something sharp stabbed into a tender butt cheek and he leapt to his feet with a startled squawk. He rubbed his buttocks and turned reproachfully to glare at the source of pain. A crumpled letter sitting on top of a golden hook caught his eye before a dark gurgling hiss that suspiciously sounded like a cackle emitted from near the floor.

His mauve lensed covered eyes snapped to the source of the sound; a large crocodile wearing a tie that loomed over an unidentified document with a pen clasped in its claws. Interestingly enough this beast only had one forearm, the other being a mutilated remnant. Its interlocking serrated teeth were set in a fearsome crocodile smile that matched the scar across its nose. Doflamingo dropped his own smile for a full six seconds before it creepily slithered back into place.

"You aren't exactly the gator I was looking for. Heheheheheheee!"

Crocodile's golden eyes rolled towards the ceiling. 'Dumbass is seriously laughing at his own joke?'

'Ok...what a cranky little fellow… Since when do gators roll their eyes at people?' But the large predator didn't seem inclined to attack him so Doflamingo let his gaze turn back towards the chair with the hook and letter. He then noticed that the items were set atop a very familiar looking suit along with what appeared to be a set of rings and a golden earring. Now thoroughly curious, the tall warlord picked up the letter to see if the contents would reveal any indication to his fellow warlord's whereabouts.

Doflamingo raised his blond eyebrows briefly at the crocodile who uttered a loud hiss when the tall man began to read the letter. 'What's this pet's problem...Ohhhh~.' Understanding snapped into place as he finished reading the small snippet of paper.

Crocodile felt anxiety creep up his tail and through his spine. Why did it have to be the criminally insane and sadistic Donquixote Doflamingo who had wandered in on this heretical mess? The warlord just didn't like the other man. Sure Crocodile was no saint himself, but he still wasn't at the same level of morality compared to the slave auction house owner. Selling humans like property just did not sit well with him; he preferred subtler methods of controlling people, whether by means of manipulation or well-thought-out subterfuge.

The crocodile was positive that no other human being would be able to succeed in turning the situation any worse than it was. Hell had surely frozen over. The feeling of anxiety in the reptile lurched to one of cold despair as the man's constant smile curled at the corners into a malevolent smirk revealing perfectly white teeth.

'Oh shit.'

"I don't think Crocy boy would wander around naked and without his clothes on. As entertaining as that would be", Doflamingo said in an eerie little singsong while he pointed at the outfit folded in the chair. The tall blond giggled a moment before he added, "And surely my fellow warlord wouldn't be caught without his hook?"

Crocodile hackles rose as he slithered away from the pink feathered man to gather himself in a defensive huddle, his pen and paper left abandoned. His reptilian body uttered a low grating hiss at the intrusion of his territory, thrashing his thick tail in warning. Banana gators swarmed up to the office space in curiosity, their huge bulk blocking out some of the azure light the aquarium offered, attracted by the tense atmosphere radiating off what they recognized as their master.

"Heheheheheheee." Doflamingo's laugh pierced through Crocodiles thick gator hide and the transformed warlord shivered, not from fear, he wasn't afraid of anything, especially a pink feathered prick flamingo, but from the escalating chill the seemed to creep to his very bones, starting to leave him vulnerably sluggish. "Aw, what's the matter Crocy? Not like you to be shaking in your skin."

Doflamingo suddenly had to skip to the side as he just barely evaded the large angry predator that had risen on its stumpy legs to charge towards him with a gurgling roar.

A hiss escaped Crocodile as he stumbled on his unfamiliar appendages, crashing into the floor on the side of his missing arm. Walking on three short little legs made it rather challenging to move if he chose not to slither around on his belly.

Doflamingo deftly mounted the large reptile; his long legs folded with the knees pinned on both sides of the struggling animal until the croc grew weary of its thrashing. Crocodile's heart pumped deliberately and loud. Slowly he turned his head the best he could on the intruder, hissing halfheartedly. He knew he had been beat and it would be foolish to let his pride tell him any different.

The man pursed his lips at the gator. "Now that is no way to treat a guest Mr. Crocodile even if you have turned into a beast, and you are starting to look a little green around the gills. Heheheheheee!"

'What – a - _dumbass_…!' The inner eyelids flicked over the crocodiles eyes rapidly, followed closely by the outer lids as drowsiness began to overtake the reptile. It was becoming too chilly in the office for the coldblooded animal to stay awake. Crocodile felt a warm hand pat the scar that ran across his snout but he was too tired to flick off the offending extremity.

Doflamingo's lips were pulled into a straight line as he realized the poor crocodile was freezing cold. "Aren't croc's coldblooded? You need some warmin' up Croco boy. How 'bout we take a stroll in the nice sunshine topside? He grinned wolfishly and reached into his large pink feathered coat, coming up with a rather large leather collar. "I don't think the locals will take kindly to a wandering gator, so you are gonna' have to be my pet for a while."

Crocodile, seeing the taller warlord take out the degrading object, became outraged and resumed his squirming underneath the large blond man. 'No way in hell will I let this flamingo idiot collar and drag me around as a pet. I am a warlord of the seas and the head of fucking Baroques Works dammit!'

Using his thick tail to propel his muscular form, he instinctively did a series of death rolls to try and dislodge the man off his back, but the latter merely giggled and firmly hugged the twisting reptile as they both rolled across the floor. His futile efforts only made him more and more angry and tired, leaving Sir Crocodile to seethe in silent frustration, minus the deep rumble that sounded from his new body.

Taking advantage of the transformed beings evident exhaustion the feathered warlord fastened the collar on while slinging the huge animal over his shoulder without breaking a sweat. Satisfied Doflamingo patted Crocodiles scaled back and said to no one in particular as he made his way out of the office, "Will yah lookit' this great beauty! I figured I would make a good crocodile hunter. Hehehehehe!"

Crocodile felt like he was going to puke. He was being taken away by the most abhorrent, twisted, and moronic bird brain of a man. On top of that he had the audacity to collar him! As soon as the taller warlord let one hand, finger, foot, or toe get too close he was going to bite them right off! But Crocodile could feel his new body shutting down and making him feel truly nauseous. He barely noticed the shocked sounds of the customers in Rain Dinners as the two warlords made their way through the top level of the building.

~ ====(==== : ~

Desert sunlight hit his olive green scales and Crocodile instantly began to feel better, the hot dry air added its contribution to the reptiles growing relief. Now that he was no longer in danger of being in comatose state the warlord realized he had been carried outside. They were still making their way down the long bridge that led to the casino and there were no people around. There was no one but the damned flamingo to see him turn into sand - the trademark power of the Hero of Alabasta - so now was his chance to escape.

Fumbling with his weak grasp on his logia fruit abilities, Crocodile's new form shifted into sand for a few seconds only to crash into the ground and revert back to a solid state. 'Ow shit!' Crocodile yelled only for his outburst of obscenity it to be emitted as a sharp angry hiss.

"Tsk, Tsk, such a naughty little gator.' Doflamingo chided and reached out to pick up the angry crock only to immediately withdraw his hands as large powerful jaws snapped at him. He was checking that he still had all his fingers when he heard a group of old ladies cry out behind him.

"Control your beast you hooligan!" One of the elders raised a polka dot purse over her head threateningly.

"Oh, I am terribly sorry my lovely looking ladies. Crocy here is just a little cranky after being cooped up inside for too long." Doflamingo flashed them a winning smile and ran a hand through his short flaxen hair in a disarming gesture. But he was completely shot down as they continued to glare angrily at the pink feathered warlord, clearly not buying into the flamingo's sweet talk. "Heheheh…" the blond pushed his sunglasses further up the bridge of his nose and pulled out a brightly colored object from the confines of his feathered coat.

'A gun? Of course a man as bizarre as him would carry one with such obnoxious colors. Why bother to carry me outside if he was just going to shoot me? Not that it can kill me since I am a sand logia.' When the bright pink flamingo idiot had pointed the orange and yellow colored weapon at Crocodile, and even when he pulled the trigger, Crocodile wasn't scared. But when a stream of water shot out of the end and soaked the angry reptile, he was stunned. His anger and dismay at the other warlord kept inhibited by pure shock. 'How did that- that ignoramus moron! - this pompous flamboyant asshole - know about my weakness to water?!'

"Now then Crocy boy, you can either play nice or I can put you on your leash." Doflamingo grinned wickedly and pulled a navy blue coiled up leash from the seemingly endless depths of his feathered coat to emphasize his point.

'Why does this man carry such disturbing paraphernalia in his coat?' Crocodile weighed out his options. There was no way in hell he was going to be dragged around like a pet on a leash, but he was left with no means to escape now that there were witnesses and his already weakened logia abilities were rendered useless. With an annoyed sigh Crocodile reared up on his hind legs and adjusted his black tie around the leather collar, trying to look as dignified as possible.

The flock of old ladies gaped as the crocodile walked regally on its stubby hind legs over to what they assumed was its master.

"Okay Crocky, say sorry to these poor sweet ladies and we will head home." He patted the upright reptile on its scar. His grin flashed right back onto his face.

Crocodile would have tried to bite the taller man's hand off, but he figured being taken away by animal control would be far more degrading than hooking up with the flamingo. Since his body seemed incapable of speech he glared at the aged crones before folding his single arm across his chest and giving them a slight bow of his head. Much to his own displeasure, the women giggled and waved at the warlord and the crocodile as they shuffled up the bridge towards the casino. 'Damned tourists.'

Doflamingo grabbed Crocodile by his right elbow, the latter nearly stumbling on his short stubby legs, and pulled the transformed warlord along with him as they made their way through the town. Through his amethyst colored lenses he could tell the sun was beginning to set and they needed to make their way back to his ship before nightfall. In this desert climate the nights became horribly cold and Doflamingo knew it would be bad news for his coldblooded prize.

Struggling to keep up with the tall man's longer strides on his squat little legs, Crocodile was secretly grateful for the warm hand the supported him. Although he had no real idea where they were going, he suspected that he wouldn't be given much of a choice in the matter. As the sky grew dark it was getting colder and harder to see, so he stumbled more frequently. Even with his fellow warlords steadying hand, Crocodile was growing weary trying to keep up with the flamingos bow legged strides. He constricted his claws around the flamingos arm while digging his heels into the sand to try and get the blond man to stop.

Doflamingo felt the tug on his arm as the crocodile he had in tow pulled against him. He stopped and turned around to look at the reptile, a blond eyebrow arched inquiringly. "Oh! My poor little Crocodile is getting tuckered out." The warlord lamented as he stared at the panting crocodile, his smile slightly lessened but retained its upturned edges.

Crocodile didn't hear sarcasm in the other voice, oddly enough, so he relinquished the effort of getting pissed off at the flamingo and sat on the sand with a heavy thump. In this position his tail stuck straight out behind him. His breathed wheezed out of him in grating hisses. If crocodiles could sweat, he was sure he would be sweating by now. He heard the other man hum for a moment before Doflamingo knelt down with his back towards him and extended his long arms out towards him.

"Piggy back ride?" Doflamingo offered and grinned that ever infuriating grin over his shoulder at the crocodile sitting on its ass, currently staring at him with yellow in black eyes that threatened to pop out of the creature's skull.

Wind moaned through the towns dusty streets, stirring up little dust devils around the two warlords and being the only sound in the few awkward moments of silence.

Sir Crocodile hesitated for a moment; the other man had just offered his back to him. Either the flamingo was incredibly cocky or a fucking moron. Probably both. But he wasn't going to stab this man in the back, or rather bite him in the back. It just didn't seem right no matter how much the warlord pissed him off. Hell he had probably even been inadvertently saved from dying of heat loss or the massive amount paperwork in his underground office. It was still strange that Crocodile had not been killed yet, since the tall blond was presented multiple opportunities to do so.

Reaching a decision he used his pointed snout to lift up the pink feathered coat and crept into the warm pocket of space between the man and his signature article of clothing. (Oddly enough he did not feel any of the objects that were sure to be hidden in the pink feathers). He let his scaled head rest on one of Doflamingo's boney shoulders and slung his lone arm over the other. His long jade colored tail hung out of the end of the coat, but at least his core would be kept warm by the others body heat.

Doflamingo was more than a little surprised that it had been that easy to get the strong willed Crocodile on his back, and coincidently in his coat, but he was more than pleased. 'If Crocy had been able to talk this would never have been this easy!' He felt sharp claws dig into his lower back as Crocodile dug his foot paws into his belt for purchase. "YOWCH!" the warlord cried and jerked up into a standing position.

Crocodile let out a soft hiss and tried to adjust his foot claws so they no longer stabbed into the other warlord's backside. He felt Doflamingo's shoulders shift underneath him followed by a warm hand patting the top of his head.

"Such a good Crocy ~", Doflamingo crooned. The croc let out a snort and slapped its tail against the back of the flamingo's thighs to get the other man moving.

'Pink feathered moron.'

~ ====(==== : ~

A stunning desert sunset painted with gilded gold's, warm oranges, and pink highlights went unnoticed by the residents. Two aliens walking through their town had riveted their bug-eyed attention. Or maybe it was just one large alien that happened to have two heads. One of the heads appeared human but had large purple lensed glasses while the other looked like an alligator of some kind. But that couldn't be it with the beast's scales being subtly highlighted with shades of purple. Its pink feathered back was hunched and a large tail with the same kind of skin as the reptile head was swaying after its long bird like legs. This strange foreign figure was positively massive, nearly as tall as the quaint little buildings of their humble hamlets. Along with what appeared to be a smile of insanity from the blond head, and its strange waddled strides, this creature just could not be human…

~ ====(==== : ~

King of the mountain syndrome boosted Crocodiles temperament as the two warlords progressed through the town, making their way to the docks. With Doflamingo's already significant size the croc was enjoying the elevation over the wide eyed townsfolk. Unknowingly the crocodile's thick tail swished from side to side happily. Using his hind paws to push against the warlord's belt he lifted himself up further. He rested his clawed paw among the blonde's short locks while he swiveled his reptilian head from side to side. It was definitely nice to be outdoors after being cooped up in the office.

Doflamingo was grinning on this inside just as much as he was on the outside. The warlord currently perched on his back was acting like an overgrown puppy - a large - scaled - overgrown - excited puppy that hadn't been let outside to play enough- that could bite his hand off. With Crocodiles large tail swinging from side to side it was throwing off his center of gravity, he constantly had to adjust his footing so they wouldn't topple over. But he didn't mind at all - as long as the other warlord was happy. It would make his plans for later on much easier to accomplish.

They reached the docks and the blond warlord carried the crocodile up the gangplank and onto his very large ship. A couple of strange looking crewmen that had been wandering around on deck hesitantly greeted Doflamingo upon seeing the large reptile on his back. Doflamingo silently waved them off, causing them to scurry away, and headed down into the depths of the ship. If the pink feathered warlord hadn't bothered to verbally address them it meant the man wanted privacy.

Crocodiles absent minded tail swishing came to a stop as they wandered down the hallways, the full weight of his situation dawning on him. But there just wasn't much he could do in his current predicament until he managed to do- well –_something _about this curse! At least he had not been picked up by some random stranger, not that Doflamingo was much better.

They had been wandering through the ships massive interior for a good ten minutes until they came to the end of a hallway where the tall warlord opened up a door. Pink fuzzy shag carpet lined the entire floor. A group of white couches arranged in a semicircle had a variety of pillows in different shapes and shades of pink sprinkling their bleached cushions. One massive bed - also in white sheets but with purple themed pillows - that was even bigger than the standard king size was set against a wall made Crocodile realize with a start that this must be the flamingo's bedroom. Red and purple wall paper complete the rooms look. The strange color scheme did not surprise Crocodile in the least.

Why was the pink feathered warlord bothering him again? Usually Crocodile would have taken the time to figure out his enemies intentions from the start, but he had been so preoccupied and set off from his natural pace by the strange antics of the flamingo. Of course he couldn't exactly talk to ask. Now he was left in the heart of this mad man's ship with no idea what was in store. Crocodile let out a low rumble, trying to voice his desire to be let down.

Doflamingo chuckled lightly and set the irate reptile down, who immediately reared up onto his hind legs and began scoping out the room. "Make yourself at home Croco boy", the blond haired warlord casually tossed over his shoulder as he flopped down on one of the white fluffy couches. Doflamingo kicked his shoes off and crossed his legs at the ankles, setting his bare feet on the glass coffee table. When Crocodile just continue to glare at him warily from the threshold Doflamingo just shrugged his shoulders at the transformed warlord. He plucked off a newspaper from the table, flipping it open to settle in for a nice read.

Crocodile stared at his fellow warlord contemplatively, his cold yellow eyes narrowing into calculating slits. Escape did not seem like such a grand option considering he was on an auction house owner's ship. A worst case scenario was that his crocodile skin could be sold at good prices; even his purple tinted scales would fetch a nice sum and might even be considered as exotic merchandise. Not to mention that in his current reptilian state, people would be more likely to just shoot the large dangerous predator first and ask questions later. While Crocodile hated to admit it to himself, he was not so confident in his logia abilities in his present state.

As sick and wrong as it sounded to Crocodile's own logical ears, being in the unpredictable flamingo's presence was probably one of the safest options available right now. Doflamingo's position as a fellow warlord would keep most unwanted people at bay.

But now he had to deal with a slightly more pressing issue. Crocodile was coldblooded. As far as he could tell, there was no heat generator currently running, and sunlight didn't reach this far in to the interior of the massive ship. His pride of course would not allow him to tell the stupid feathered prick that he would probably die soon since he could not produce any heat of his own. Also his intuition was telling him that on top of being an insane asshole, Doflamingo was a pervert and would see this as an opportunity to take things out of hand. At every meeting he had felt this hungry aura emitting from Doflamingo in testosterone heavy waves. It reminded him of the way drunken idiots at a bar would size up all of the females in the near vicinity, single or not. He could not begin to fathom why since there were never any females present to instill such a reaction. Part of Crocodile preferred to just chalk it up as part of the flamingo's insanity based tendencies.

His eyes began to roam around the room seeking out a source of heat. No fire place- though why would there be one in a ship- and no space heater, and what little light shining through the porthole indicated night making its quick decent. When Crocodiles molten eyes landed on Doflamingo he temporarily considering using the blond man's body heat. 'No fucking way,' the transformed warlord thought to himself, disturbed by his own thoughts.

Hissing in frustration, Crocodile made to cross his arms but ended up pawing at air now that his limbs were shorter and he did not have his hook to add on to his amputated arm's length.

Doflamingo snickered at the action, but quickly hid his face back behind his paper as Crocodile shot him a searing glare.

Crocodile looked past the flamingo, narrowing his eyes till the pupils resembled ebony splinters as he noticed a bar complete with several racks of bottles. 'Hmm alcohol will make this torture easier to bare.' Even though Crocodile was not much of drinker, he preferred his cigars; the opportunity to pass the time with a bit of a drink was too good to pass up. If nothing else it should be able to keep his mind off the annoying blond who was surely scheming in his chair over there. He stalked past the flamingo, whacking the long legs of the warlord with his tail for good measure.

"Hehehe, so feisty", Doflamingo purred as he ran his large tongue over his lips.

Shuddering from his tail tip to his snout, Crocodile decided he did not just hear that sultry undertone in the flamingo's voice.

The reptile's nicotine craving was starting to give him the jitters that added to his growing foul mood. It was like an itch he could not scratch and the flamingo being there made the feeling intensify to the point of what felt like he had rolled around in poison ivy with army ants that had crawled under his skin to join in for the fun of it.

Once he was closer to the drinks on the wall he was at bit of an impasse. They were just out of his reach, no matter how far he stretched up on his back paws. Crocodile turned away from the wine racks in annoyance. He was beyond pissed at this point. Being denied of both a cigar and alcohol was about to send him into a fit. Crocodile was ready to break something – or a certain someone.

This clearly was just not his day.

His reptilian body began voicing its need to hibernate as the cold began to set back in through his purple-tinted scales. Sleepiness made his whole body turn sluggish and his eyes began to droop. Even his sharp mind was dulled by the primal urge to rest. Crocodile needed somewhere to sleep. But there was only the feathered bastard's bed. His feet drew him closer to the bed. The warlord noticed the comforter was made out of some incredibly soft fabric that reminded him of plush toys as he ran his clawed paw over it. '...I'm not about to sleep on the couch. Not with that moron over there and a perfectly fine bed over here.'

Since sleeping in the bed was the least degrading option, even though it was owned by the flamingo, he opted to nest under the covers in the hopes of keeping warm.

Smirking evilly, Doflamingo fist pumped in victory and slinked his way over to his fluffy bed and a snoozing crocodile.

~ ====(==== : ~

**Authors Note:**

**This is a story I have had lying around for months, it reality it is almost as old as my first fiction. I just never got around to publishing it from fear of rejection xD. Well oh well not eveyone likes Crocodile and Doflamingo but you should read anyway because it's a pretty damned funny story.**


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